Overview
Extract 1: Getting Lost
Journalistic delusions
“I’d hit a mirrored ceiling in the media, and what I witnessed through the looking glass repulsed me. To prove it wasn’t liberally biased, the Times hyped pro-war propaganda…”
Extract 2: Getting Ideas
An EXIT beckons
“We want to do what we enjoy, and gather thousands of creative, capable people around us who think like we do and try to have an impact [...] If not you, who? If not now, when?”
Extract 3: Getting Excited
Reinventing the Balkans
“If Serbs don’t drive you mad, you must be crazy. Their identity was warped [...] We could call our event constructive ‘ethnic cleansing’, a way of reclaiming Serbia from its past.”
Extract 4: Getting Loaded
Smuggling drugs
“A hippie explained the technique: ‘All you need is Vaseline. And first smoke a joint and take a shit. It’s no big deal. Dress well, keep calm and smile when you walk through customs’…”
Extract 5: Getting Laid
Sex, south-Slav style
“To enthusiasts, The Joy of Sex reports, Serbian intercourse is mock rape – throw her down, seize one ankle in each hand and raise them over her head then enter her with your full weight.”
Extract 6: Getting Shafted
The ECHO festival
“When we first met our security, I’d laughed. The captain was squat and his sidekick squint, a Balkan Laurel and Hardy in t-shirts and combats, their prowess softened by face cream.”
Heresies
Heresy: Inventing front-page quotes in the NY Times
A scene from Belgrade, 2003
“To hell with po-faced ethics, I decided. ‘Either people are going to get serious and take on the criminals trying to undermine our country or we’re doomed.’ He spoke for all of us.”
Heresy II: Hustling Elie Wiesel in his apartment
A scene from New York, 2003
“As Wiesel himself once put it: ‘Do not turn your back on the past. Integrate it into your life and you will flourish. Forget it and you are doomed.’ I took him literally, at home.”
Heresy III: Screwing the Stars and Stripes in Belgrade
A flashback to the Echo Festival
“Sonic Youth writhe around with their instruments, and a Fun-Da-Mentalist strips onstage and fucks a flag. Needless to say, this doesn’t end prettily, but such is life in Serbia.”
